Monday, October 3, 2011

Happily Ever After? - Part 6

The real test is begining

Only after all events are over, the test is really beginning.
After almost emptying the bank account, went through all the ceremony, quarrel over the design of the flat, many couples could call it quit. But if one went through all these and stay very much in love, let me tell you the real test is just beginning.

First, marriage bring together 2 FAMILIES together. One do not marry just the other half, the other half comes with all family members whether one like it or not.

Second, marriage is the union of 2 person in love and from different upbringing. So what does this means, this means there is PLENTLY of room for conflict when you realise that the other half do not perform task that one had seen their parents perform.

Third, marriage is the time when you discover each other spending habits as well as money concept. Sometimes one do not realise how little the other party knows about money, it was only after living together doing the family budget then the cat is out of the bag.

Fourth, one came to realise : A woman married a man thinking he will change, but he never. A man married a woman thinking she would not change, but she change.

Lets talk about my experience, I never knew that after marriage, as the newest member of his extended family, I am the LOWEST in ranks. Initially I was made to babysit his nephew on order by my MIL while she went to gamble. When his aunties, uncle and cousin start digging into my dinner as they want to try the food of their competitor, I do not know how to reject, end up with 1/3 of my dinner gone after their tasting. Not forgeting the disgusting feeling that so many people had contribute their saliva into the food that was later passed back to me. My own aunties asked for permission and they just informed.

My dad is the main breadwinner for the family, my mum when she worked, she is a babysitter, contributing to a fair bit of the family expenses. My dad did all the "heavier" household chores like cleaning the fan, the lights, so after marriage I was disappointed to realise  had to do EVERYTHING even when I am heavily pregnant!

I knew SO did not have good money habits. It took me some years before I came to know how bad his personal finance is. Initially we did quarrel over money quite a few times, maybe he thinks I am too young to talk to him about money, but now he came to learn that my knowledge is better than him. Wish me luck to be able to control his finances, which he claim he will when he is ready.

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